“Sand Sharks” (2011)

What did I expect? A rip-off of Jaws with a bit of Tremors thrown in. Well, I got that. I actually got more of that than I was expecting. There’s a scene that plays out exactly, and I mean exactly, like it does in Jaws. In fact, this entire film is structured almost exactly like the first half of Jaws. The characters are simply avatars for their Jaws counterparts. This film even makes a reference to one of the characters being in deep with the mafia, something that occurred in the original novel, but not in the movie (the jury’s still out on whether that was accident or not). Every other common complaint about these B-shark movies applies here; the visual effects on the shark are awful, the acting is bad, the characters are one-dimensional and stupid, and the film’s budgetary restraints are painfully, painfully clear (there’s a moment where it’s supposed to look like over a thousand teenagers on a beach, and it looks like there’s no more than fifty). I’ll say this about the film though, it’s at the very least self-aware; certainly a lot more self-aware than the last rubbish shark attack film I watched (I will never forgive you Two-Headed Shark Attack). The pacing is at least passable, and it’s laughable enough to prevent it from being boring. Although this movie’s entire existence was worth it, just so we could hear the line “Eat this, you sand of a bitch!”

Rating: 1.5/5

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