“Nine Lives” (2016)

There are bad films that you understand why they’re made. Then, there are films like this; films that simply transcend simple Hollywood exec greed and legitimately make you wonder “what were they thinking?” This movie’s existence in and of itself becomes an enigma. It almost becomes fascinating in a way, as you watch a film that is literally made for no one, given it’s too lowbrow for adults, and it’s too dark and edgy for young kids. This film, to me, is exactly like a train wreck; it’s absolutely terrible (barring two legitimately funny moments), but I cannot help but find myself entranced by its sheer awfulness. Which I guess is the closest thing this piece of crap’s getting to a recommendation from anyone.

Rating: 2/5

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